


My Best Friend: Lily Flower Jaemin

by femboytaeil



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, M/M, Pre-Idol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25474207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femboytaeil/pseuds/femboytaeil
Summary: Jaemin and Jeno have known eachother since they were just twelve. They went to school together and were never friends til one day, they auditioned for SM and both got accepted. Once training started and Jaemin learned that his classmate, Jeno, would be training with him, he was overjoyed. Since then they've trained and debuted as idols together. Jaemin one day tells Jeno something unexpected. As Jaemin's best friend, Jeno struggles to comprehend his own feelings towards his companion. As time flies by, through the eras, will Jeno finally understand himself?
Relationships: Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	My Best Friend: Lily Flower Jaemin

**My Best Friend: Lily Flower Jaemin**

Author note: i had to read a buncha shit to actually be able to do this cuz theres ton of shit I didn’t know about, some of it is untrue but it'll help fit the story better. <3 This AU is from the point of view of Jeno. There's also seperate chapters in this AU to seperate different time stamps better and I also have songs that go with each chapter if you'd like to listen to them ^^ i'll also leave a link to the songs in a playlist in chronological order in the comments!

Chapter One: The  Flower Prince

Song: Exo - Lucky

I met Jaemin when I was just twelve. Since the day I met him, he’s always been this cheerful and affectionate person. Me and Jaemin lived in different worlds, I was nothing like him, I was cold and hard to get to. I met him in middle school, he was popular with everyone, I was less known. I was quiet and studious, but I sat right next to him in class, so I was always stuck with girls staring around us. Whenever we’d leave class, him and his army would bombard him, but I always saw his eyes shifting at me before he’d walk away. His gaze was like that of a beast, and I was the prey, he was king and I was a commoner.

My dream was to sing, whatever it took, I had to become a star. I auditioned for the company SM Entertainment, I had been practicing since I was just 10. I passed the audition in summer, then the following fall I was accepted. I felt overjoyed, my dream was in my grasp. I remember the exact day I had to go to the building to start my training for the first time, October 15th. I walked into the building and immediately I saw this familiar figure, a boy about my height. I felt so glad to see someone my age. The wind from the door had let him know I was here, when he turned around, I saw the most unforgettable smile. Jaemin had never looked at me like that. I stood there in shock as he ran over and pounced on me with a hug. I could feel my face heating like fire. He screamed my name as I pushed him off of me. “LEE JENO!! I can’t believe it’s you!!” Jaemin said as he kept pinching my cheeks. When he finally straightened himself out, he looked like a little tomato. “R-right! I’m in your class! My name is Na Jaemin, but I’m sure you know that. I’m so happy to see a friend! I hope we both make it together!” He smiled as he patted my head, as if I was shorter than him.

From then on, Jaemin always bothered me, all day at practice, all day at school, all day in the dorms. At first, Jaemin and I didn’t share a room. We were separate but he begged Chenle to switch rooms so he could be with me. Na Jaemin was a pest. After spending a year training with him, he never stopped. He wasn’t interested in anyone else but me. He became friends with all my friends so he could always be with me. I couldn’t compliment him or he’d get too happy and talk about it for weeks on end. He was a cockroach, but in a way… I loved having him around. The way he made breakfast for me and did my laundry and switched his room to be with me, it was really cute even for a guy.

After a little over a year, we were notified that me and Jaemin would be in the same group together. Me and Jaemin were only thirteen at the time but I still think that was the happiest moment of our lives. Jaemin was so happy, when he got back to the dorm, he made cookies for us. He also begged to sleep together, “Jeno, pretty please? It’ll only be tonight, I mean we did get into the same group together ><”. I hesitantly accepted his dumb request. When it was time to sleep Jaemin jumped into bed and made me turn off the lights. I tried my best to stay as far as I could from him but he pulled me in and hugged me and sniffed me all night. He may look like a prince but he can be just as creepy as any other guy.

Chapter Two: Why do you confuse me?

Song: Chanyeol - Hug Me

The date was July 26th, 2016. It was exactly a month away from my debut. I was about to be a part of NCT, but I didn’t feel excited at all. Me and the members of Nct Dream were finally ready but something was off about Jaemin, he wasn’t always attacking me with affection anymore. Jaemin spent so much time with the other members, especially two he’d love to dote on, Renjun and Jisung. Jisung was quiet and callous, while Renjun was bold and honest. Jaemin had always spent all of his time with me, trying to kiss, hug, and bother me anyway he could. Now he was always with Renjun, going out to eat, pouncing on him after practice and begging to get food together. I was so used to Jaemin annoying me, that I guess it was weird not having him around. When the members ate food together, Jaemin would always sit between Jisung and Renjun. “Say aah, Jisungie ~” Jaemin said with a devilish grin, like he had done with me. I couldn’t stay and watch anymore, I stood up and the members stared at me, I heard Jaemin say something as I was leaving but I didn’t care.

I wasn’t jealous, I was just lonely without my friend. I got so used to Jaemin that I didn’t know what to do without him. Jaemin tried to talk to me everyday after that but I ignored him. It was then time to shoot the music video, it was a fun and cute concept filled with smiles but I just couldn’t smile. My heart ached. We rewatched the scenes and I couldn’t even focus. It was finally time to go home. I went home last and flopped on my bed when I felt something under me. “Ow :(“, it was Jaemin, he was underneath my covers. I could hear his soft voice sniffling, I pulled him up and grabbed him. His face was wet with tears and his cheeks were red. I couldn’t stand to look at him, my heart ached so bad. Was this because of me? Was this because I hurt him? Am I really that heavy that he got hurt when I laid on my bed?

Without a second thought I hugged him. He was so warm and my chest was pounding. “Jaemin... I’m sorry for hurting you.” I let him go. I held his face as I wiped his tears off him. We were staring at each other for a good minute. His face was really so pretty, his skin felt so soft in my hands, his long eyelashes and sparkling eyes. I could see why girls liked him so much. Before I knew it I was a few centimeters from his face, admiring his features. He grabbed me and pressed his lips to mine so quick I couldn’t even think. My first kiss was with a guy, not even that, but my best friend too. Once my brain started working again I pushed him off of me. “Is this another one of your stupid games?!” I screamed at him. He just looked down, still tears streaming down his face. He had his hands between his legs and he looked so innocent. “Jeno... I- I’m in love with you, I was pestering you all this time because I love you. I can’t help it.” Jaemin said through his crying. “I stopped bothering you because I know it’s wrong to feel this way about a guy.” I couldn’t believe every girl’s dream boyfriend was gay. There’s no way I’d like another guy.

(*authors note: sometimes the songs take jaemin's pov because i wanted to stay in jeno's pov the entire time, so the songs give a little bit of insight as well, but we all know what jaem's thinking anyway.)

Chapter Three: Don't Avoid Me

Song: Seventeen - Say Yes

After we debuted, we were forced to be close all the time. Jaemin smiled through everything, as if he’d forgot the night he told me he loved me. Was I cruel by staying silent and not giving him an answer? He was so distant with me, he’d only ever be near me when he was forced to take pictures with me. He switched rooms and moved in with Renjun. Jaemin was still his usual self, still loving on everyone, everyone except me.

Months passed before I could look Jaemin in the eye, but when I could, I apologized for everything. Jaemin promised everything would go back to normal, I hoped it meant he’d look at me and show me that smile again. All these thoughts of Jaemin constantly flooded my mind, I couldn’t understand it. It annoyed me when he’d touch anyone but me. For some reason I couldn’t stand it. Did the members even know he’s gay? For some reason I hoped only I knew, what if one of the other members was also gay? What if they started dating? Two guys dating, especially my best friend Jaemin, really bothered me.

Jaemin showed me the most affection, he called me his soulmate and his best friend. Whenever our eyes met I couldn’t look at him, I didn't want to think of him as a girl for even a second. What if I grew feelings for him because he’s pretty like a girl? I hid these thoughts away, he was only my friend, I didn’t like him anymore than that.

Things between me and Jaemin were pretty much normal again but since Jaemin wasn’t my roommate anymore I’d spent most of my time in his room or in the living room to spend time with him. When night would fall I’d sleep with him in his bed. When Jaemin was out for schedules or busy, I’d call and pester him. I missed him every second he wasn’t with me, I once had a schedule on The Show but I couldn’t reach him so I posted on twitter hoping staff would see it and say something. When he came to the set, I was euphoric, he was just in his regular clothes but he glowed like a god. He came out of his way just to see me. We decided to go live in the van driving home and for the first time in awhile he gave me that look I hadn’t seen in awhile. He smiled and laughed with me and I wanted to hold him right there but I refrained. He was so pretty.

Jaemin was really affectionate, not only to me but to all the members. Whenever I saw Jaemin with anyone else, this bad feeling in my chest built up. I couldn’t understand why him adoring anyone else made me feel this way.Whenever we were on camera I wouldn’t stop any of Jaemin’s pursuit of affection to other members, but if we were at dorms, I’d pinch Jaemin until he stopped touching them. This went on for a while, and Jaemin didn’t stop. Jaemin was pulling away from me, he hated how I was acting, and I hated it too. It was late, when I was coming home from practice and I went into my room to find Jaemin sitting on my bed, waiting for me.

Chapter Four: Boyfriend

Song: Nct 127 - Baby Don't Like It

“Jeno, we need to talk about somethi-” Jaemin got cut off before he had the chance. I knew he was upset with me, but how could I help it, I just hated the fact that I wasn’t the only one he held. “Jeno!” He said as he grabbed my wrist, I got annoyed so I grabbed him and pushed him onto the bed. I was now over top of him as he lied on the bed. “Stop touching on all the other members, it bothers me so much. I can’t stand seeing you touch anyone else, it’s irritating.” I demanded of him. Jaemin stared at me in shock, as tears welled in his eyes. He turned his head and put his arm up to cover his red face. “Why do you care what I do… don’t act like my boyfriend when you don’t even have feelings for me..” He said in a cracked voice as tears hit the bedsheets. “I’m sick of it!” he yelled. Jaemin pushed me off of him and ran out of the room.

I sat there on the bed for a minute before realizing what I said. My face went up in an explosion of flames. “WHY WOULD I SAY THAT?!!!” What in god's name was wrong with me? Jaemin was right… Why did I care so much about what he does? Why did I want to wipe his tears when he lied there on the bed? I couldn’t understand my thoughts anymore. I just wanted him to touch and love me only, I wanted to be his only friend. Why did my heart ache so badly, why does Jaemin make me feel this way? What feeling is this?

When it was time for practice the next day, Jaemin wouldn’t even look at me. We were practicing for  _ Go. _ Jaemin danced flawlessly, he had a sincere look on his face. It wasn’t like the pretty flushed face I got to see last night. This should be the Jaemin I want to see as his best friend. The Jaemin who dances and sings so well, with a strong expression, not the weak Jaemin who confessed to me to me two years ago. I wanted to see more of him. I wanted to hold his face like I did. No, I can’t be thinking about this stuff, I don’t like men.

(*authors note: this part isn't meant to be sexual, with the song, the bad things represent the relationship type of things Jeno wanted to do with Jaemin, but he felt was wrong because homosexuality isn't accepted there.)

Chapter Five: Midnight Light

Song: Baekhyun - Take You Home

A month passed since the bed incident and things were back to normal. Jaemin did what he does best and pretended nothing happened. I toned down my doting on him and let him be. I still couldn’t help this aching feeling in my chest, the feeling I got from seeing someone touch his soft baby-like skin. It was the final day of training for  _ Go  _ and me and Jaemin stayed behind to train. When we finished we sat against the wall and slid down to the floor. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I pet his hair, turned off the music and lights and sat there in the dark training room. It was so silent, but all I could hear was his short breaths and the sound of my loud beating heart. He had fallen asleep. There was something I wanted to do again, for the last time I wanted to feel it again, feel his skin against mine. I didn’t want to like him, but then why was I doing this? 

I grabbed Jaemin’s face with my hand and held it up to mine. He was definitely asleep, his face was gleaming from the small amount of light in the training room. His eyelashes gave a small shine, it all looked so beautiful. I had never seen someone quite like Na Jaemin. Why did he like someone like me? To me, I’m just average, sure I’m an idol but I was nothing on the level that he was. Jaemin was made to be a star, he shined and gave me light in the shadows. He made me want to step into the light, to talk, to be myself, to work harder, to believe in people. No one else believed in me the way he did. I leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Thank you Jaemin, without you, I don’t think I could have made it this far” I said in a raspy tone. I wanted to repay him, but I was too greedy, I was too hard on someone who loved me so much. I held his face one more time and pressed my lips to his. My heart drummed louder than it ever had.

Is this why I felt that pit in my heart, because I wanted to finally be able to do this? 

His lips felt like flowing gold, so gentle and silken. He always looked so serious and strong on stage, but I saw every weakness and soft spot. I fluffed his hair then nudged him awake. “Jeno? What happened? I had a dream about us” he giggled. “Please shut up and let’s go home,” I said with a smile. We went home and I fell asleep in the car. All I remember the next morning was waking up in Jaemin's bed, with his arms wrapped around me. The sunlight from the window shined in on his sleepy face and I decided to fall back into my slumber.

(*authors note: i feel like the song i chose for this chapter fit extremely well, be sure to look at lyrics of songs too! they help express things i can't. you don't have to listen to the songs but ty for going the extra step if you do ^^)

Chapter Six: One Thousand Mile Wind

Song: Jaehyun X D.ear - Try Again

It’s been awhile since the kiss in the training room. Jaemin has become much more devoted to me. I constantly walk in on him watching my fancams, he’s even bought a bunch of our albums trying to get my photocard. His pestering has gone up 100%. It finally feels like our trainee days again. We went on a bunch of what Jaemin likes to call dates. He’s not just obsessed with me, but obsessed with collecting plushies, he even has some of me. We were out at his favorite shop when he picks up this big plushie and starts kissing it, “I wish Jeno would let me kiss him like this -3-.” “Try it then dummy” I said with a smirk. Without hesitation, Jaemin plopped a kiss on my cheek, “Don’t call me a dummy.” he said with a pout. “Dummy dummy dummy dummy!” I yelled with a flushed face. Everyone in the store was now staring at us like children. Not wanting to be found out, we left in a hurry, after buying his plushie of course. 

It was nearing the end of the date, when Jaemin asked to go to the roof of the dorms with me. He stood in the wind glistening like an angel, then turned to me and declared himself to me once again. “Lee Jeno! It’s been three years since then. I know you remember, it's been exactly three years since that day. I know you don’t see me as anything more than your perverted gay best friend, but my feelings haven’t changed since that day. No matter how much I dote on Chenle, or Jisung, or Renjun, or anyone. I still only want you, Lee Jeno. I just want you to know. It’s been so hard controlling these feelings, whenever I see your face I lose my cool. Whenever you cling to me, I just want to kiss you and tell you I love you. I’ve liked you ever since our teacher sat you right next to me seven years ago, and that will never change.” I stood there with what felt like a thousand winds blowing through me, hearing those words again, it made me understand. I wanted to be with you, but I didn’t have the strength to say it, so I stood there staring at the moon in silence. Just as you were about to leave, I wanted to muster up the courage to say something, anything.

“Jaemin.. Please wait.” He stopped in his path, I could hear his heavy breathing, he was crying again. Did anyone else see Jaemin cry, the way I have? He was already past me, I wanted to see his face and tell him I might love him, but was that enough for him? “Jaemin.. Please give me time to give you an answer, but please don’t ever stop being my best friend.” Tears welled in my eyes, it hurt to speak, but I couldn’t let him leave without some kind of answer. I could hear him stepping towards me. He stopped right in front of me and wiped my tears, he smiled at me the same way he did when he found out we would debut together. The prettiest wide smile, that he's only ever shown to me. He held me for a good minute then he left me there, on the roof of one thousand winds. Did I love you, Na Jaemin?

Chapter Seven: Mission Love

Song: NCT Dream - Candle Light

Time felt so slow with Jaemin, it was amusing. He told me he had a mission to make me fall in love with him. He said he’d do whatever it took, which meant annoying me to no avail. Every single off day we had, actually, every single day he’d harass me with a new way to make me fall for him. Most of his ideas were just about him being handsome, he’d say dumb stuff like “I could make you fall for me by getting a drastic makeover which causes you to see me in a new light, and you get so shocked, you fall for me. Wait.. that won’t work because I’m already so cute… seriously how could you not like me already? Hmph.” Every single day was so different, Jaemin didn’t stop trying for weeks. “I could make you jealous by smooching another member” he chuckled like a little devil. This was my least favorite idea. “Nice try, but I don’t get jealous.” I played off. “Liar” he pouted.

Jaemin made me feel so perfect. I wondered why he loved me the way he did, he never got to see the dark sides of me that I saw of him. He never heard me scream at anyone the way he did when he couldn’t take anymore of my indecisive feelings. I saw Jaemin in every way he didn’t get to see me. I liked him for him, his face and his talents were just an extra. Jaemin loved me but I don’t think he loved every part of me, the way I liked all of his worst parts. I wanted to tell him everything, share everything with him, but would he love all of my demons?

Before I knew it, a month had passed since Jaemin told me he loved me again. Every single day was special. We spent time where the world stopped, where there wasn’t a soul. Today he showed me a spot in the forest near the highways, secluded but heavenly. It was cloudy and the air was wet from the slight fog. To anyone else it would’ve looked like a scary movie set, but to us it was everything. It was like stepping through a portal to another world, where no sounds were heard, except for our tired voices and the brushing of leaves. We would spend hours out there together, sometimes in silence. Jaemin wasn’t as strong as he looked, he wasn’t loud, he wasn’t goofy. Jaemin was this quiet boy who wanted nothing but to love and be loved. Being silent didn’t make it awkward, we understood each other, we didn’t always have to talk. I couldn’t tell if this part of Jaemin was the weak or the strong. Either way, I loved it, I liked this unknown quiet side of Jaemin that no one else ever saw.

Laying in the slightly wet grass, with him I began to tell Jaemin of my past, how hard it was for me to become an idol. I told him about the nights I spent crying in bed during our trainee days, wondering if I was good enough. “Jeno, I always noticed, I saw your pain. I worked so hard to make you smile everyday by acting like an idiot.” Jaemin said in sincerity. “There’s more I want to tell you, I want you to be able to love even the weak parts of me, Jaemin” I whispered out. He just stared at me shocked then turned away, his ears were a bright red. He grabbed my hand and held it up to his chest, I felt the vibrations of his heart against me, I knew that was it. The way his heart beat for me, his fluffy bleached hair, his small red ears. Those delicate fingers, his whole body was just as delicate. He was my angel. At that moment, I knew for the first time, I was sure of it that I loved him.

Knowing I loved Jaemin and being around him was hard. It had only been a week but I still wanted to wait to tell him, because the way I was right now, it’d be impossible to tell him anything. I had become a nervous wreck around him, more of a tsundere than I had ever been. I was never this nervous around anyone in my whole life. “Lee Jeno, my love~. How are you today?” Jaemin said to me with a catlike smile on his face. He had his hands behind his back and was staring directly at my face. “Ah- um.. I’m just fine.” I could barely utter. Jaemin had noticed my nervousness since day one and constantly teased me about it. “Sorry I couldn’t hear you, my love~. Can you repeat that?” He said with that devilish look he always had, while waiting for my answer he started rubbing his fingers across my neck. He was a sly one and I couldn’t take it. “AHHHHH I’M FINE!” I yelled with a heated face. This only got worse as time went on, I’d wake up with him on top of me getting ready to kiss me. He never did kiss me, he would always stop right before he reached my shut face. He would sometimes even stick his hands up my shirt to wake me, he was a pervert but I didn’t mind if it was him.

I wasn’t sure how to tell Jaemin my feelings. It was all so strange, I never experienced a feeling like this. I didn’t know how to feel or how to even put it into words. I’ve never been in love before, and being around Jaemin was so hard, he made me so nervous. I couldn’t even look at him. He was just too cute. Everytime he touched me, my body went up into flames. So how was I to tell him that I was ready, that I really wanted him. It had been almost 3 years since Jaemin confessed to me, the first time. How was Jaemin already so confident, did he already get past this dumb timid stage. Someway, somehow I had to tell him.

Chapter Eight: Lily Petals

Song: NCT Dream - Puzzle Piece

(*author note: puzzle piece was partly written by jeno and jaemin! ^^)

It was another day at the serene spot in the forest, It stood close to rocks and trees, it was a small patch of sunshine and grass in the big full forest. By the rocks were a bunch of pink lilies that were dying out from the upcoming winter. Jaemin had told me he’d been going to this spot for a while, by his lonesome. Why did he take me here, if it was his spot? I continued to wonder til I heard his soft deep voice beginning to speak. “Hey Jeno, this spot to me, it’s really important. Back when we were about to debut, I told you I loved you, remember?” I nodded, wondering what he was going to say. He was tearing up, but he walked over to the lilies by the rock, with his back turned to me. He bent down and held the lilies in his hand and said “That night when I told you, you just stayed silent. That night I left the dorms and ran wherever I could, it was dark and I was young and I found this forest by the highway and I ran into it. I ran and ran until eventually I tripped on a rock and hit my face. I sat up and I noticed that there weren't any trees in this particular spot. Nothing grew here. I stopped running and I sat here and cried for hours, not knowing what else to do.”

He still stayed by the lilies, rubbing the petals between his fingers. “That night was one of the hardest of my life, I never felt such heartbreak, but the next day I came back here with the flowers you had in the vase on your bedside table. They were dying, I decided to dig a hole in a spot besides the rocks and threw them in. Being a cringy kid, I said I was burying my feelings for you, but obviously that didn’t work.” He said in a scratchy voice. “I thought they wouldn’t live, but I always kept coming back here, I told myself that if they grew then maybe, you would grow love for me. They didn’t grow for a long time, there were stems but no flowers. So every year I waited, then this year I came here again, just to think. There were bright pink lilies hanging off the stems, shining in the sun. It was early July, not long before the anniversary of the confession. I sat here wondering what I should do, and I knew I had to tell you again. I didn’t know if you loved me or not but I waited years for those lilies to tell me.” He finally stood up and came back over and sat next to me. He tackled me to hug me, we lied on the grass holding each other in the chilly fall weather. “Jaemin, the lilies were right. When the lilies came to bloom, so did I.” I uttered softly. He lifted his head to look at me, he was on top of me holding me with all his might, his tears hit my cheek. “Yeah, it’s exactly what you think, I love you idiot, now stop crying.” Saying this just made him cry more, but he was laughing and rubbing our faces together.

On the way back home he held my hand and pressed his chest to my arm, he kept pouting for me to say it again. He pinched my cheeks; hugged me from behind; blocked my path; all while we were walking. When I finally did say it, he jumped up and down screaming down the sidewalk. He jumped over to kiss me on the lips, "I've been waiting to kiss you that easily." He smiled all cheeky. I just smiled back at him and grabbed his hand to keep walking home. Luckily it was already sundown so there weren't many people, but he was still an embarrassing mess. Even still, he was so cute.

The End ~

for now kekeke ^^


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